Miss Independent

Moving out and going to University can be a hard transition, but the harder of the two is the move back home afterwards and the loss of independence that goes with it.

Back in 2013 I finally got the Uni bug and headed off to Hastings to do an FdA in Broadcast Media. It was the best choice I could ever have made. The course was perfect for me, I fell in love with the town (even though parts of it were a dive) and I met some amazing people who I intend to hassle for friendship, love and attention for the rest of my life.

As many students do, I grew up a lot over the two years that I was away from home and learnt a lot about myself. Having that independence helps you to grow as a person and find out who you really are.

So then, when you come home and move back in with your parents once you've graduated it's a bit of a shock for everything to go back to how it was before. Asking permission to go out, having to tell someone where you're going and when you'll be back, whether you're going to need dinner or not, not being able to have showers in the middle of the night when you realise what time it is after day of binging on Netflix.

These may sound like small, silly unimportant things, but once you've lived on your own and you have that independence (that you had, not two months ago) ripped from underneath you, it's almost like you start to lose the person that you became. That's what I've found anyway.

When I left to go to University, I was a quiet, mousy person that never really stood up for herself. In my last year especially, I've become much more outgoing and confident by comparison to how I was prior to moving out and I don't shy away from confrontation as much as I used to. I have become a strong person who takes no shit and doesn't get hurt by much, so I guess you could say I grew myself a thicker skin and a pair of balls.

Now that I've moved back home however, I can feel that person slipping away. Now, dont' get me wrong, this is by no means the fault of my parents who have been there for me through thick and thin, it's because I'm slipping back into old routines and it almost feels like I've rewinded 2 years.

The challenge I now face though isn't to find myself my own place to live as quickly as possible, it's to adapt to my new living circumstance whilst keeping hold of the person that I've become without getting on my parents last nerve.

That balance I'm sure is something a lot of people struggle with after graduating, and a lot of people probably feel like they're the only one, when none of their friends talk about it and seem happy to be back home. Don't worry though, there are a great deal of us who all feel like we're losing the plot moving back home. You've just gotta keep your head down and focus on whatever goal you've set yourself now you're a graduate and not let your loss of independence become a loss of self.