Forgive the Past to Embrace the Future

Forgiveness is a virtue that is more difficult to make use of the older you get. However, the weight that’s lifted when you do is like nothing else.

I’m writing about this now because it’s something that I’ve learnt is the most powerful tool for moving forward over the course of the last year. Letting go of any resentment or anger that you’re feeling towards someone is that final step that needs to be made to get over what happened.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying here that you should let people walk all over you and become a doormat, and there are certain situations where someone has no right to your forgiveness. Having said that though, if you are able to, the best advice I can give is to forgive that person that springs to mind when you’re reading this. Not only will it give you the freedom to move forward (with or without them), but it could also help mend what was broken in the first place.

In my instance, letting got of the way I was treated by someone from my past and moving forward together has lead to the possibility of a wonderful friendship, even if for now it’s on the down low. Catching up on lunchtime walks in the woods when we can, without the pressure and worry of the past hanging over our heads, has been refreshing.

It’s not just me that’s done the forgiving to get to this point though. Him forgiving me for the hurt that I had inherently caused has played a part too, which (as he did with me) I had to earn. Forgiveness isn’t something you have the right to expect from someone when you say sorry. Not to sound overly cliché, but you have to truly show that you mean you’re sorry in your actions to regain that persons trust before they can forgive you. At which point, they still may not be able to, and that’s okay. You can’t control how a person feels or deals with a situation nor can you blame them for handling it differently to the way that you would. You also can’t demand forgiveness from someone who isn’t ready to offer it yet.

Time is a wonderful tool when it comes to a lot of things, especially forgiveness. This isn’t because you’ve forgotten about what happened or how it felt, but because you have time to reflect on what happened, how that person may have acted and if you can see things from their side.

I don’t want the take away from this to be that you have to forgive everyone for everything, as I’ve said, there are some things that don’t deserve forgiveness and nothing can be done or said to earn it. What I do want it, is for you to consider forgiveness. Is it worth holding onto anger over something mundane? If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s that we all need to look out for each other. So move on from the past. Forgive. Forget. And who knows, maybe fall in love again.